An espionage agency known as British Intelligence (Reconnaissance Division) have been suspected of involvement in international drama, following claims they may have spied on Donald Trump on behalf of GCHQ.
B.I.R.D. have been rustling feathers in London’s West End over the past year during the conduct of what appear to be training exercises for new recruits. The agency conducts activities under a veil of secrecy, but it is believed their HQ is currently a Leicester Square Hotel which has been holding a Global Birdwatchers conference for over a year. This is believed to be a front for B.I.R.D.’s espionage activities. The unusual length of the conference has been explained by one spurious source as follows: ‘the delegates cannot complete their conference until the eagles are ready to leave the nest.’
One particularly shifty individual has been noticed in the Leicester Square area at weekends. This person (or persons), posing as a leafleteer, has been approaching members of the public to promote the welfare of the common woodpecker, while dressed in the style of a Californian condor. This behaviour has been noted as unusual, confusing, and inexplicable. Rumours are circulating that this character is, in fact, Agent Condor of BI(RD), hiding in plain sight while conducting a secretive recruitment drive.
Rumours have also been circulating that Agent Condor is a known associate of the Obama regime, with accusations that he or she has been caught on camera supporting Michelle Obama. A brave reporter asked the costumed character to comment on the rumours about his or her identity. Condor said: ‘I think you are confusing me with Big Bird in an episode of Billy on the Street. This is FAKE NEWS!’